Dating someone older means they can provide you with some insights and different perspectives when you encounter something which can seem insurmountable. It can save you time and needless energy overthinking a problem and more importantly help you move forward quicker. More patience — Aging and getting older teaches you something you cannot escape, patience. Being with an older man can be a good balance for you especially in a world where things move at a hyper pace. With maturity comes a greater appreciation for the little things in life and being with someone mature can help you learn to slow down, relax, and recalibrate.
Shared personal growth — Sometimes with someone your age, it can be a little competitive.
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There might be a need to outdo one another when you are closer in age and achievements. When someone is older and because they are more established, they may not have the same need to compete with you. This age dynamic can dial back the immaturity of poor communication and ego-busting that can happen with someone that is closer to your age.
In fact, they may become your biggest cheerleader pushing you to levels you may not have felt you could accomplish. They had a life before you. It can include past marriage s , relationships, kids, grandkids, etc. Navigating this in your relationship with an older man can take some patience on your part. You will also need to have clear parameters and communication with one another of what to expect for one another as far as their relationships with ex-wives, kids, etc.
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It can provide you with clarity on his intentions, his relationship patterns, and help you determine if he is the right fit for you. The past is generally a strong indicator of future behavior. He might be set in his ways. The older you get, with the comfort of knowing thyself, comes a comfort of doing things a certain way. When a man has had a level of success and is happy with the way he is, trying to break habits that might annoy you or introduce him to things outside of his comfort zone may not be so easy.
Hang in there. In a relationship where you mix someone a relationship of someone who is younger with someone older, if you are truly compatible, you can both learn and teach one another valuable lessons. He is more stable. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it.
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Stop worrying and move on. Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy. Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it.
Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed. Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before.
I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life. Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them. Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect.
Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.
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Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible! You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.
Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Guys seem to be coasting and having fun, and any rejection or hurt feelings seem to disappear within a day or so. Sure, there are those guys out there making dating and relationships tough on all of us, but there are questionable girls, as well. And in the end, we are responsible for own actions, reactions and interactions. For those chicks already on point, thank you and keep it up. Maybe you need a long break, or maybe you should step back, reevaluate your approach and take on a persona more often associated with guys.
And to do what? Okay, I'll change.
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It most likely took some work and time alone for him to get there hint, hint. The same applies to us; stop using attention from guys or any type of relationship as your key to confidence. Find your passions and strengths; learn to be happy alone, and you are going to be chased like crazy one day. This is self-explanatory. Pathetic headline alert. Your friends will always be there, so treat them as such.
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