You hung out for a few weeks, and made out but he didn't try for sex. This strikes me as a good thing. It sounds like the attraction is there but he was taking it slow on the sex. Since you both recently ended relationships, this seems sensible.
It's odd that his friends tease him about hooking up with girls and he denies it. It is interesting that he explains himself to you. I don't know what to make of that. He has stopped kissing you, and flirts with other girls in front of you. This sounds like he has definitely put you in the friend box. He told you in the beginning he just wanted to be friends?
That wasn't the impression I got from your description! And not liking your hanging out with other guys?
He can't be using you if he isn't trying to get sex. It's very hard to know what is going on in his mind, and you also don't really say what you want. I would decide first if you like him and want more with him. If so, make a move or let him know. Or just ask him what the deal is. Like I said, this guy is giving a lot of mixed signals — it's impossible to say what he wants with the information here. Thanks for you quick reply!
He did break up recently with an ex, and so did I both of us were in long term ones but I feel as though he doesnt want to get close to anyone in a sense.
I don't understand either, I mean he took the time to explain to me that he didnt hook up with certain girls, but when he found out I got asked out by someone else, he didnt believe me and said its not like he cares. I've seen the way he looks at me, but I dont understand? Why would anyone do this?
If he is into hook ups, and has done so in the past, why am I any different? Well, he might think you are not a girl for a "one and done" hookup. Certainly, he hasn't tried to go for quick sex. But it also is clear that he's not ready for another relationship. He may find you attractive or even like you but feels the timing is not right. He said that before he even met me he wanted to be single for awhile. When I say I've seen how he looks at me I mean I see longing, like he wants to get closer but something is holding him back. But he can go out with other girls.
I am really really confused. And to answer your question I do like this guy. We share alot of the same interests, but I don't quite understand his angle or what he wants. I'm not even sure he knows. All I know is he wants to spend alot of time with me one minute, then the next he takes alot of space. I go over his house around once a week and we see each other throughout the week, but I just dont understand his intentions with me. If you feel very strongly about him, it might be better to cool it for a while — not hang out so much, and pursue the friendship when you're really over him.
Your statement that you're not even sure he knows what he wants is a telling one — it sounds like he does have mixed feelings. But that doesn't work so well for you — maybe he'll come around later, but for now I would definitely let it go.
I am currently hooking up with my ex boss! I quit when we started hooking up! We have been hooking up for about a month now. But he knows and has known that I have way mmore feleings for him! But he recently told me that he does not really like sex. He is 29 and I am Brittney, there are a couple of things here that worry me.
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First, you quit your job to hook up with your boss? That is a HUGE sacrifice to make, a commitment really, when it doesn't sound like he was ready to reciprocate. Second, there is something very strange about a guy who does not like sex. I'm sorry, but nothing good whatsoever can come of that.
Fourth, this guy won't give you straight answers? That suggests you ask him directly what's going on and he is evasive.
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This is a terrible sign. Stop hooking up with him right now. Honestly, you deserve a man who will be honest and straightforward, commit to you, enjoy sex and be willing to express love. This guy is zero for four. About 8 months ago I started working non-official capacity in a law enforcement agency in a large metro area which I enjoyed immensely.
And apparently he 'endured' lots of friendly male banter once the others realized he had a fancy for me…. Never believed I'd be such a clueless twit. We enjoyed our outings…. Fun hugs and kisses and slowly getting a feel for each other. Great chemistry, me thinks. We both are divorced, single. I live on my own for many years. We both seem to have similar hic-ups and can laugh about it. That conduct is not okay, and I was stunned and it felt horrible.
The reason he had was a good one major crisis between the ex and the teenager and he negotiating or whatnot; so the teen is back living with him. There seems to be quite some deranged behavior of others in his hinterland that perturbs me. How much does he give power to those people and how much could the impact be of derailing what is growing between us?
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Words are fine and well, but charm alone does not carry enough weight. When we are together, he's very attentive, kind and we have a lovely time … and then there is the gap-land of: Luckily I don't have anymore my center of gravity wrapped around the action or non-action of a man, but still, can't get a clear sense of this one here.
I must add that I was not born nor raised here, English is my 4. American men often confuse the heck out of me, but I can't see myself taking intercontinental flights just so I have a lovely relationship with a suitable man. So, what's a girl to do? I am perfectly happy to be slow, but that sense of standstill at times or is it still stand? But maybe I am missing some cultural nuances yet again.
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He once shared with me that he feels I'm quite a good match for me because just before he discovered that I like to do some outdoor excursion that he enjoys very much too but has never found a woman who shared that passion … but also that it feels so intense for him being with me that he tries to slow it by not seeing me. Which to me makes as much sense like saying: But him feeling 'bad' per se does not do good to anyone.
I wonder what would it take for a man to NOT call in a situation like this? To me it's inconceivable. And where I grew up, that actually never happened. I have always known men to do what they say. At least the men I have been with. When you say something, you do it. That somehow is not common place here. Am not asking you to glance into the crystal bowl, but perhaps some enlightening words on how to glean some sense from this behaviour???
I believe right now he's off cross-country somehow….
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